Job Interview Answers for Tough Questions...
Question : Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer : It sucked.
Suggestion : I felt my talents and abilities were underutilized.

Question : What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer : I can't concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all forms of authority, and tend to fall asleep at my desk.
Suggestion : I'm a workaholic. I just don't know when to put down my work.

Question : You seem to have moved around a lot in a short amount of time. Why should we think you'll stay here any longer than you've stayed elsewhere?
Real answer : My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only non-competent employees.
Suggestion : I'm at a point in my career where I am tired of moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term enterprise, where I can make a contribution.

Question : How do you handle change?
Real answer : I deal with it everyday unless I'm out of clean underwear.
Suggestion : I think everyone knows that today the only constant is change. I thrive on it.

Question : How do you get along with others?
Real answer : I hate people, as long as they stay out of my face.
Suggestion : I think the interpersonal dynamics of the work place can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.


Question : What does the word failure mean to you?
Real answer : It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance, with the hope of a 6 month extension.
Suggestion : Failure? I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean. That word is not in my vocabulary.

Question: Do you get along with your current boss?
Real answer: I get along fine considering what kind of a malicious jerk he is.
Suggestion : I don't think I'd call him a boss; he's been more of a mentor to me.

Question : Do you ever get angry with coworkers?
Real answer : I don't get angry. I get even.
Suggestion : Nothing angers me more than to see a coworker not pulling his weight, goofing off, or stealing. Yes, sometimes I do get angry with coworkers.

Question: Can I contact your references?
Real answer : Sure, but they wont know who I am.
Suggestion : Maybe I can arrange to have them contact you.

Question: What words best describe you?
Real Answer: Genius, Horny, Dog, Clockwatcher, Unorganized, Lazy
Suggestion: Compassionate, Creative, Team player, Organized, Efficient